Get bidding on Don't Wipe Your Bum wITH a Hedgehog! From the marvellous mind of Mitchell Symons - award-winning author of Why Eating Bogey's Is Good For You - comes such gems of wisdom as: You can't trust a dog to watch your food. Why buy shampoo when real poo is free? Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, as you won't have a leg to stand on. And if getting even doesn't work, then just get odd!